Thinking about the word phase, makes me think of my life right now. It’s just full of phases. Maybe life is just all a phase. Or maybe it’s made up by phases. Phase after phase.
Right now, I am in the phase of… well I don’t know what I am not in the phase of. Okay, that’s not true really. There are plenty of phases that I am not in. But boy oh boy, I’m in the middle of a bunch of phases, or MY phase is just really complicated.
So what does my phase in life look like right now? I am a mother of eight, getting closer to middle age , but not quite ( I looked it up! 🙂 ). I’ve been raising children now for almost eighteen years. I am a mother to a young man who is set to complete high school this year and is looking beyond to planning his life beyond our home. I am both proud and sad. I don’t feel ready for this new phase of life for my first-born, and for myself. So many changes, I’m beginning to feel that the only norm left in my life is the norm of continual change. Children grow up and don’t stay little. They grow up and eventually won’t need me to take care of them. They will all move on to embark on their lives away from our home together. It makes me sad to think of my life without them the way it is now. But that is life. A perpetual change. Phase after phase… the journey of life. Ever changing.
As my children grow they change from tiny babies to crawling, walking, exploring, climbing, running, daring, adventurers. As I watch my oldest navigate life and become more independent and ready to take off on his own , I watch my youngest toddle around the house. Exploring from room to room, reaching up for comfort and snuggles. I see the great chasm between the two worlds. What used to be, and what is. So blurred. My baby boy. My sweet little guy. He’s a young man now. Busy as ever. My sweet little baby boy. My one year old that loves to snuggle with his momma as much as possible, he has his whole childhood still ahead of him. It’s kind of like living the beginning and the end at the same time. Yes, I know they are two different people. But it is interesting to navigate this phase of life with my oldest graduating this year, and being a mom to small children, all at the same time. It’s not like I just moved on from one phase of child raising to another. I’m living them all simultaneously , and yet at the same time somehow it is all one phase. My life. The present. This is just what it is.
I mentioned that my oldest is in his senior year. He keeps busy with agriculture class, FFA, welding class, and an online class. He is a FFA chapter officer this year and is traveling next month to national convention for the poultry judging competition. He is hard-working and creative.
My second oldest is in her second year of high school (home school) and is looking forward to becoming a legal driver this year. She loves to listen to music, and enjoys coloring, and puzzles to pass the time. She also enjoys the outdoors, hiking and camping.
My third oldest is in seventh grade and just started at a new school after homeschooling almost all of his life. He received his first “crush” note this week at school. He loves sports and will be starting his third year of wrestling soon.
My fourth child is at the same school as her big brother after homeschooling as well. She loves singing to music and anything creative. She is fast to make friends and gets along well with people. I think she would love to be a music star some day.
My fifth child, our anniversary child (born on our 10 year anniversary), is eight this year. We are still doing homeschooling, and she is learning to take on more and more responsibility. She is my little artist and loves to create as well. She is a sweet girl.
My sixth child just turned six and he has been a handful for sure. He looks so much like his oldest brother. He likes to build and use his imagination. He is kindergarten age this year and is also learning at home.
The three-year old is child number seven. Handful doesn’t do this one justice. She is a challenge for sure! It’s a good thing that she is so cute and sweet. She really keeps us on our toes. Climber, escape artist and fearless, are a few of her attributes. This phase feels a bit like survival mode until she gets a bit older!
And then there is the youngest. My sweet baby boy. He loves to explore and climb and dance to music. Sadly he won’t be a baby for long. All to soon he will be grown up like his big brother. But for now, in this phase of my life, his life, or lives. I get to snuggle him close, and I am his world. For now. Until the next phase brings something new.